Hello, dear readers and fellow creatives. I had two more sales on Amazon this month, so I just want to say thank you again. Thank you to everyone who has supported my writing, in any way, shape or form. Here’s a story from I’m Sorry For The Things I Said While I Was High. I hope you enjoy it. And remember: you can become a patron on Patreon and read the book as I post it. Thanks again.

Ice Cream

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I mentioned before that Dee doesn’t ask me for much. When she does ask me for something, I’m ready to move Heaven and Earth to see that she gets it. 

Dee likes Ben and Jerry’s Strawberry Cheesecake Ice Cream. She doesn’t eat it very often, but every now and then. One evening I was about to leave the recording studio when I called her and asked if she needed me to pick up anything. 

“You know what? I have the strangest craving for ice cream.”

“Oh, okay. What kind?”

“Ben and Jerry’s Cheesecake. You know the one I usually get?”

“Yep. I’ll grab some on the way home.”

Now, this sounds like a simple task, right? I mean, it’s ice cream. Yes, it’s a specific flavor. But I’m in New York, which has a plethora of EVERYTHING. I stopped at a grocery store and went straight to the ice cream section. They had plenty of B & J in stock. Guess what? The only flavor they seemed to be out of was Strawberry Cheesecake.

Fuck me. 

No problem! Western Beef here I come! Out of stock. Okay…

Drugstores next. Walgreen’s won’t let me down! Well, guess what? They fucking did. CVS let me down, too. 

I drove to Whitestone, to Target. Surely Target will have my wife’s ice cream! As soon as I got inside my phone rang. Dee was calling me.

“Hey, is everything okay?”

“Yep, great. I’m at Target.”

“Target?”

“Yeah, I came here to get your ice cream.”

“You didn’t want to go some place closer?”

“Nah, I wanted to come here. Do you want anything else?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“Okay. I’ll call you after I check out.”

Ice cream aisle. Freezer. You fuckers better have what my wife wants…

Boom! There it was! B & J Strawberry Cheesecake! After all this bullshit, I’m buying two of them! I didn’t tell Dee about all the places I went to before Target. She would have told me not to worry about it; it wasn’t important. But to me, it is important, because it’s something she asked for. How could I not get it?